@WoolieWoolz I& #39;m sure you& #39;ve been sent this a million times already but JUST TO BE SURE:

"sea lioning" is named as such thanks to this comic - http://wondermark.com/1k62/ .

Also,">https://wondermark.com/1k62/&quo... you and I process things very similarly and I 100% get where you& #39;re coming from and your frustration!

If you& #39;re interested in unsolicited advice, I advise the following:

* "yep, that& #39;s my bad."
* PAUSE (length is situational - mild tiff? couple seconds. Actual Severe Argument With Someone? hours->days
* "Do you have a second? It would help me understand what I need to change >

> so that it doesn& #39;t happen again. If you& #39;re open to it, I& #39;d like to describe what was going through my head, and it& #39;d be very helpful if you could help me identify where that breaks down."

obviously, as people get used to this idea, you can start trimming the speech & >

> shortening the pause, but this does several things:

1) reinforces that you& #39;re NOT going back on the "i was wrong" thing
2) gives them context for what you& #39;re trying to do
3) gives them the agency to engage or not
4) gives ME (you) the desired outcome of "oh THAT& #39;S what I >

> fucked up on!" which can then be corrected for.

Hope this helps! :)

also, re that last bit in the "woolie" clip about apologies - here& #39;s a worthwhile microthread about & #39;em and how to do & #39;em proper-like: https://twitter.com/TheRaDR/status/1022564173966913536">https://twitter.com/TheRaDR/s...